i understand why they stop taking their medications.
it's not to bring the voices back, it's not to make the rats crawl out of the walls,
it's for that three to four hour period of clarity, lucidity-
and you're standing there and theres no headaches and you don't feel the least bit nauseus and it's easy- the joking and the laughing. it's the easiest it's ever been and you're on, you're so on.
and then the shaking starts, not even from the limbs but from your fucking
torso, as if the anxiety is just radiating out from you and youre shaking
it's not fair, it's not fair,
[life really isn't fair]
you just want yourself to stay.