Wednesday, June 19, 2013

"You were, you were running around Riverside Park without any shoes and I kept thinking, 'Jesus Christ, she's gonna step on a needle or something', but you didn't, you were fine... how did you do that? How were you always okay? There you were, high out of your mind just, skipping around the grass and you were happy, you were always so happy. How did you do that?"

"Because I never cared, I never cared about anything. I didn't give a fuck about you then, did you know that? I had to learn to love you, that night I was flirting with everyone at that party and I didn't feel guilty about it because I wasn't a we, I was still a me. You did it though, you made me love you and then you left me. Sure, you were still there but... you left me and I had to make myself okay again after that. I had to accept your instability, I had to accept that you were fallible."

"You can't, you can't blame this on me. You were too much, you were clawing at me and I was just trying to li-"

"See, every time I start to rethink everything- I remember. I remember the day you told me I wasn't first on your list and I forgive myself a little more each time. Because you were first on mine. You weren't ready, I was just... I guess I was looking for wedding bells. This was never your fault and it wasn't mine. I needed electricity or magnets, something strong that wouldn't ever let go."

"You wanted magnets, you had them. You had fucking industrial magnets."

"If I did, we wouldn't be having this conversation Jake, I had to let go."

"Don't you dare fucking speak to me about letting go, you're the one who left. You're the one who went off and died and made it my fault."

"You're still checking the grass for needles, aren't you?"

"And you're still haunting me."

"I would stop if I knew how. Things might have been different if you had stayed."

"I could say the same to you."

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