Friday, October 17, 2014

i am so in love
with the world, she cradles me to sleep and i kiss the top of her
continents, run my fingers through her deltas until her spinning
turns rhythmic
like the up and down of a thermometer or a rising chest-
i am so in love
that i find it hard to grieve, i am picking it from my clothes like
pieces of dust, i am nudging it away from my door like an unruly cat- i am not ready for the
gravity of this but am drawn to it like
a moth to the porch light my mother always left on-
"in case someone is ever lost"
oh darling, i think i am lost

hope can be a poison, i think about you nearly all of the time.
i am pushing it into the bottom of the garbage can, i am stubbing it out on my windowsill and
frantically holding it to my lips six hours later
i am pulling it over me like
six comforters and waking, sweat-covered, shaking, and hot in the night
but don't dare kick the covers off
in fear of waking her up.

i am sitting under the porch light, mostly
muscle and strong now, my hip bones are sharp, my eyebrows are sharp-
i need something drastic and boiling and big, soon because
i am so in love and trying to convince myself,
sitting under the porch light,
that it's not a miracle.

1 comment:

AVY said...

It's only a miracle if you make it so.

/ Avy

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