Monday, February 16, 2015

i am learning to be quiet.
typing text messages only to question, after, if my words mean
anything, if by putting them out into the world i am contributing
something of importance, learning to
write an email and delete it. i am learning to stop my want from seeping, to keep my 
love in the stable until the biting flies
send it off into the night, learning to starve others of me.
i am learning to be quiet
and let the silent voices speak. let my actions cast shadows on the den walls, leave
empty diaries,
i am learning that my mouth has known too many silver spoons to speak without the taste of them on my tongue. 
i am learning to be quiet

i will speak with anger that does not belong to me, i will speak with the bitter
rejection of a world that does not reject me-
i will spill those sentences like drunken vomit on the neighbor's front lawn or
sloshes of light coffee from an overzealous mug as i tiptoe back to my room to write
Graduate School essays that I pay for with white dollars and white collars-
i am learning to be quiet while
breaking off my incisors
in the neck of a system that cares more about
the day than night but they don't realize
that this is winter
the night lasts much longer 
than any sunshine, they don't realize that they are covering their eyes while casting shadows, i am learning to be quiet, i swear
i am learning.

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