Sunday, December 20, 2015

wisdom teeth

it is not violent      pain as much as 
 it is an aching absence,  like wisdom teeth, like     something has
been stolen from you even though it's 
      all your fault.
blame the universe for making your mouth too fucking small. blame the teeth 
for existing, for being so goddamn
blame    yourself for being so 
susceptible to     infection.

roll over and pretend the spots can be filled, that you could give 
your    cavern    to anyone else, that their exploration wouldn't feel
like foreign flags; 

       new owners,     beware,
  this house is haunted, you are never safe 
         here.  there will be doors always locked, corridors always closed to you, you will never
     see the inside of the west wing,     it is for sacrifices, it is a museum now, a      
      dead     child's bedroom, frozen in time.
        you have free reign of the foyer, but this place
            is not yours, 
     we don't have permits, there will be no additions.

know that you can live
as your own      nation and survive 
the departure of your teeth,  just hope
this stitched up mouth, this frankenstein tongue, comes 
back to life. pray that love has not 
taken you to dinner and, although it was nice, 
they're just really         looking for something else. 
with luck, you will not always be this 
bleeding fox crouched among the trashcans, 
uncoordinated and 
in its lashing, 
the night-time voices pushing the hair from your forehead

       shush- we're trying 
   to save you, trust, trust in the net, just    please, 
       stop biting.

paint the ceiling so that no one knows         the boarded-up attic, the parts of 
yourself you banished
like traitors. 
pray that someday you will be a row 
of cornfields, that the fires of your warring country
will burn themselves into feudality, quiet citizens raking ash
from their crumbled houses-
a toothless hole,        after years of bombs,
the sky was quiet and empty, 
     no one knew what to do with their hands.

the ache of changing when you didn't want to, how you overturned 
everyone's life raft just trying to save yourself, the people you drowned 
for a deserted island, a haunted 
house, an empty mouth. 

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