Saturday, February 6, 2016

i met a man, the other day, who sees towers
[note: delusions of grandeur, pos. symptomatic e. 7 day; diag: unspecified. low risk]

working with the mentally ill has taught me to empathize first and

question later. the boy who has been raised by a gun sits in group and
talks only of guns. [note: possible homicidal ideation with visual and auditory
hallucinations e. daily; diag: paranoid schizophrenia. high risk]
the girl who smiles too much to be completely cognizant [diag: intellectual deficit. past incidence of violence. low risk]
the boy who shakes with the medication but rocks 
back and forth like a pendulum
without it [note: ataxia due to Haldol injectable. symptomatic e. daily; diag: bipolar 1. medium risk]
the boy who was gone for 15 years and now has the youngest voice 
i've ever heard
for a 24 year old. [note: diag: catatonic schizophrenia. developmental delay. low risk
the girl who was hurt so badly as a child that she no longer recognizes the hands
that did it [note: suicidal ideation with hallucinations; diag: early trauma. high risk]

and then there is the man who sees towers, everywhere.

he counts each siren at night, 
1, 2, 3. four means it's bad, 
four means the world is ending and he is
made of fire again. 
the winding wails of police cruisers in new york city are billows of ash and 
pillars of salt, he swears it's his fault. he swears
he looked back. 
he sees towers in sidewalk cracks, towers in the reflection of the spoon to cereal bowl, towers 
in the lines of his own hands,
he stays awake and thinks that, perhaps, hell is towers.
perhaps he is towers too.
[revised diag: post traumatic stress disorder]

i call myself a survivor but

i have never seen towers, 
for me, they were always 

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